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[You don't need to start off with a joke to hold people's attention, but humor helps. When I am working on other things, you may see some of my old humor columns surface to emphasize this.]
When I was a resident assistant, I passed out a flyer on best practices for living your life.
I knew my residents would trash the flyer, so I made some … adjustments to keep them reading.
My Favorites From The (Revised) Flyer:
1. Call your mother before she dies.
2. In disagreements, fight fair by keeping your shots above the waist.
3. Say, “Bless you,” when someone sneezes in public but not “God bless you”. It might get awkward.
4. Don’t let a squabble damage a good friendship, but let it ruin a poor one.
5. When someone asks for the time, and you don’t have a watch, don’t lie. You’ll look like an ass.
6.Marry someone you love to talk to. When you’re old, conversation will be the only part of your relationship that doesn’t require a prescription.
7. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye and mean it … you can shank them with bitter words later.
8. Don’t judge people by their relatives or looks. Judge them by their obvious behavioral deficiencies.
9. Don’t trust anyone under 21. They can’t drink or smoke. What do they know?
10. Spend your money, life’s too short. But on the off-chance you live long enough to have greedy grandchildren, put some away every paycheck.
What are some of your tips for life?
Feel free to leave them in the comments section below.
