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[This post is part of the "Things To Be Happy" Series. Remember: Happiness is a pithy domain name that best describes your project. Get one today from GoDaddy.com]
Entry #5: Killer Boobs (And Blog Posts About Them)
Meet Chelsea Charms. She has breast implants of the suicidal variety:
Charms has had breast augmentation surgery three times. The first augmentation enlarged her to an E cup, the second to an HH. Both were saline bags. The third surgery implanted the polypropylene string. In some cases of breast augmentation via the polypropylene method, the breasts may grow at different paces or at a dangerously accelerated rate. In her case, they have grown in unison, but their growth rate has steadily slowed over the years. The initial string content was equivalent to 2500cc. Her doctor estimates the growth has increased the size of each breast to over 7000cc.
In recent years, the use of so-called “string” implants such as Charms’ in breast augmentation surgery has become illegal in the United States. Due to the dangers associated with such implants, only a small number of women in the world still have them.
Source: Chelsea Charms (Wikipedia)
Breasts Can Also Be Used To Escape Prison
Recently, a female Israeli soldier fled jail by using the most effective stun gun known to man: her breasts.
When arrested over drugs, she simply removed her shirt. The officer became confused and she made a clean — if bouncy — getaway”
Source: New Weapons in War on Terror (Fox News)
I know. Fox News is as reliable as a male Israeli prison guard, but still. At this point you must be thinking, “Breasts are pretty awesome. What else do we need to know about them?” How about some knowledge from the reputable pages of Cosmo!
The Following Are FACTS:
4. Stray strands are normal. Almost all women have some degree of nipple hair. “Having 2 to 15 dark, straight strands growing at one time is extremely common,” explains Debra Jaliman, M.D., a clinical instructor of dermatology at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City. The general rule is, the darker your skin and the hair on your head, the more nipple hair you’ll have.
16. Nipples can come in threes. It’s not all that freaky for a woman (or a man) to have an extra headlight. This nonfunctioning nipple is usually smaller and located lower on the body than the main pair, and it rarely develops or produces milk.
Source: Cosmo’s Boob Bible: 20 Surprising Facts About Your Set
Why Should We Be Happy About Killer Boobs?
You mean besides the fact that an straight, 26-year-old man made it through an entire blog post about breasts that had nothing to do with sex or objectifying women in some way?
1) Darwin Rules!
If you’re dumb enough to let a prisoner go because they flashed you, you really shouldn’t have that job and deserve to be fired.
And if you’re dumb enough to get breast implants that can kill you, well, I’m sure there’s plenty of people out there waiting to say, “I told you so” on their blog.
I guess you can say boobs know how to bring out the raging stupid in humanity.
2) But actually, here’s why we should be happy about killer boobs (or at least, posts about them): What did you think the article was about when you read the headline?
Not what you were expecting at all, right?
Although gut instinct is extremely powerful, and not something to be ignored, it doesn’t hurt to sometimes think twice.
You might be surprised by what you find, and that surprise is something to be happy about.
Sources:
Cosmo’s Boob Bible: 20 Surprising Facts About Your Set
New Weapons in War on Terror (Fox News)
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