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I don’t know what’s up with all of these “ninjas” out there giving people advice, but someone has to say it: You are not a ninja.
Snake Eyes is a ninja, and he doesn’t talk. (Note: I didn’t see G.I. Joe, I probably never will, and if Snake Eyes did talk, I don’t really care because it doesn’t count. If it doesn’t happen in the comic, it doesn’t happen at all)
Ninjas sleep upside down and sharpen shurikens until it’s time to kill, steal, or ruin your day.
Ninjas don’t hang out on Twitter all day telling people how to use social media.
The Four Traits Of Ninja, And Why You Lack All Of Them
Ninjas were hired by large landowners to do their dirty work. If they weren’t spying, they were killing. If they weren’t killing, they were sabotaging. If they weren’t sabotaging, they were flipping out.
(Did you think I was going to get through a post about ninjas and not work in a link to Real Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book?
Also: Ask A Ninja, while funny, also does not count as a real ninja. He makes, according to the always reputable Wikipedia, $100,000 a month in advertising and merchandise revenue. Real ninjas hate money. Except when given to them by feudal lords … to kill!)
Let’s use a visual reference:
Ninja:
Not a ninja:
Pointing out obvious things does not qualify you to be a ninja or an expert.
Unless you …
1) Kill on a nightly basis
2) Sabotage people’s plans
3) Flip out
4) Or spy
You are not qualified to be a ninja.
Ok. Sure. You could be spying on someone and actually sabotaging them by giving bad social media advice, but do you kill?
You can also flip out, that’s what blogging is for … and I guess you could kill with words, but they have to be really mean words, and most people don’t do that. We’re afraid of getting sued.
So the next time you see someone claiming to be a social media ninja, ask them about their training in the deadly arts, how much time they’ve spent in medieval Japan, and who Master Splinter is.
If they don’t try to kill you later for dishonoring them, they are not a ninja.
(The ninja photo belongs to brunkfordbraun)
Want To Comment On “You Are Not A Ninja?”
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